THE IDOL OF MY LIFE
The True Story about my connection with Michael Jackson
I am from India and was introduced to Michael Jackson at the age of 13 in 1992. Cable TV was a privilege for a few back then, and my cousin was one of them. He showed me Black or White on MTV and that was it. He then played Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’ and I was hooked. After that, I was not just a fan; I was a Michael Jackson researcher. I bought every possible audio, video, book, poster, and keychain. I went through each page of his books as if they were holy texts.
Regardless, we all know how fanatic a Michael Jackson fan can be… but I was different. I didn’t believe in fighting with people who wanted to say bad things about him. I used to see other fans cry or fight whenever there was something wrong being said about him. It was not that I was not concerned, but I had studied him so well that I realized many times it was Michael’s own PR doing this to keep him relevant no matter what the topic. I was just a teenager back then.
The child molestation case in 1993 proved to be the most horrible thing to happen to any Michael Jackson fan. Everyone was confused. As years passed by, Michael came out of it and so did the fans. The HIStory album kind of made us strong again, and when Invincible came, the internet was much more active, especially with a chat room on the official Michael Jackson website. I was very instrumental in bringing down the websites hosting leaked tracks of Invincible before its release, only to later realize it was Michael himself who had done this to sabotage Sony (whom he called a racist boss) because they had not allocated enough budget. That was the time I was fortunate to get in touch with Frank DiLeo and the Sony Music team, who was in touch with me for tracking the pirates.
In 2003, things crashed again. As a spiritual counselor to many people, both high-profile and ordinary, I had warned Mike’s team before it happened, but they had told me to shut up and mind my own business as a fan. When what I predicted actually happened, the spoon-bender freak who was around Michael, along with Michael’s other spiritual guru, issued me an apology. Not just that, he sent me an autographed copy of his book with a drawing which he called "spiritual" and which he had made for Michael in the Invincible booklet—for which he had charged a lot of money.
This connected me with Michael himself eventually, which led to the fan club I started, www.clubmj.com / www.michaeljackson.in, becoming The Official Indian Michael Jackson Fan Club. Later, Sony Music (Sony BMG back then) also authenticated it as official on paper, since I had Michael’s management authenticating my fan club on his instructions. It was also authenticated by MJJSource, which issued a seal of authentication, but it was run by a bunch of leeches again. Even then, I used to think I was hallucinating that I was talking with Mike himself; even calling him "Mike" is what I got from the con-calls that happened at that time. It’s when I started to receive expensive gifts shipped from the USA or anonymous funds for concerts that I started to feel the truth. I only really got convinced when the national media covered my first-ever concert, some even put it on the front page of the news when I was literally a ‘nobody’.
Coming back to the 2003 allegations, I thought I had to be practical rather than just being a fan who was crying about the situation or just abusing the culprits. That is when the idea of THE MICHAEL JACKSON ANTHEM popped up in my mind. I wanted to do something meaningful, something that would get the fans together and create stronger moral support for Michael. The song was made on a stringy budget of 5,000 rupees (about $55 in today’s rate). It was programmed in Fruity Loops without a music keyboard, using just a PC and a mouse to put in each note and arrangement detail in a single day, along with the lyrics I wrote.
The next day, I recorded it with a few Michael Jackson fans and the people who had financed the project. The song was downloaded (there were no streaming platforms back then) by more than 7 million fans and was even played at the courthouse. The song was not meant for revenue and was free for all to download. It was only in 2021 that I released it commercially on music apps. Michael himself had laughed at the production value and the chorus of the song, only to later admit the intensity it carried for the fans who actually supported him without a doubt. All this is documented in international media and archives. Even BILLBOARD magazine has my quote in their Michael Jackson TRIBUTE magazine from 2009.
Apart from that, to spread more positive vibes about him, I organized HEAL THE WORLD CONCERTS where I performed with other local artists. These included charity drives where the concert earnings went toward things like food and clothes for the poor, or even donating computers to rural schools in villages. Many of these were sponsored by Michael or someone from his team, as I used to get small amounts from different unknown people in the US and Europe whenever I was lacking funds for organizing the concerts. The impact was huge. So huge that Sony Music used to send me official posters and memorabilia for promotions. I still have many of those. My Michael Jackson collection happens to be the biggest in India which includes the Michael Jackson Opus, but I plan to sell it all as its hard to maintain.
Fortunately, artistically and for business, I often received tips from him and people associated with him about the music industry and how I should operate when it comes to my own music. During the trial, I also realized that there were very few right people around him; most were leeches who had been with him for decades and now found an easier way to drain him financially. So, I started keeping away from most of them.
I had my tickets for the O2 booked for the August 28th This Is It concert, no special seats. Later, his music label executives promised me I'd meet him backstage, and someone close to Michael promised me a few seconds with him back at his hotel on his birthday. Spiritually, I knew that This Is It would never happen and had openly shared it with other fans and friends, but I had always prayed and hoped that he wouldn't die. He always mentioned the fear of people wanting to kill him. Unfortunately, that is what happened. I truly believe that he was killed, because he was more profitable in death and so was the music catalog of other artists that he owned.
I performed Michael Jackson songs (not as an impersonator, but singing and dancing like him) in many concerts, but after he was gone, I stopped performing publicly. It’s been 17 years since I’ve performed any of his songs or any others on stage. I simply somewhat lost interest. I idolized him as the biggest entertainer and always looked for ways to impress him with something. I also didn't want to earn or benefit from his legacy by exploiting his death like his estate and others did.
Despite all the above, I was never a fanatic. I accepted Michael with both his good and bad sides. I never tried to cover up anything that was wrong, but I strongly believe that he was innocent. He is surely not guilty of the charges he faced, but he was also careless about the way he saw and behaved when it came to children. This balance kept me more grounded and more productive as a Michael Jackson fan.
Michael did not just musically and lyrically impress me, but practically did with all the business advices I got. I came in touch with so many good people around the world, some of whom have left for their heavenly abode. Though I will always try to be a support for projects that enhance Michael’s legacy, my relation with the Michael Jackson estate will always be bitter. They had tried to shut down my official fan club until I showed them the papers in 2010. In that process they also destroyed the good relation I had with Sony Music’s executives in India. Recently, the fan club page was again taken down by Facebook on the request of the estate before Michael movie’s release, but this time I wasn’t interested to fight. There is nothing to fight for because everything about me and Michael is documented out there. There were many fans active with me back then but now there are none. Most of the fans (Authentic or unauthentic) are busy promoting themselves on Michael’s music or dancing like him, else I don’t know any fans who really know whim. So the existence of the fan club on facebook makes no sense to me either. We do have a whatsapp group of some fans and still managing the dedicated website of the fan club.
Regardless of where the Michael Jackson estate leads or does not, fans like me will continue to make people remember for the artist and humanitarian that he was. Like many of the captions say… There are Stars, there are Superstars and there is Michael Jackson!
